Deployment: It takes a village Published April 1, 2016 By 2nd Lt. Brittany Curry 82nd Training Wing Public Affairs SHEPPARD AIR FORCE BASE, Texas -- Deployments are often at the core of why military service is honored by citizens as a sacrifice. But this sacrifice is not just for the members who deploy, but for the families who support them. For the families of 82nd Security Forces Squadron members who recently deployed, this sacrifice has once again become a reality. Just as military members must train and prepare for deployment, so must families. For Staff Sgt. Genevie Navarro, 361st Training Squadron military training leader, and her husband, Tech. Sgt. Robert Navarro, 82nd SFS flight chief, this is not the first deployment they have had to prepare for. This will Robert’s third deployment. The most important part in preparing is making sure they tell their two children far enough in advance to prepare emotionally and mentally, Staff Sgt. Navarro said. “The hardest part has always been and always will be telling our kids that he is leaving,” she said. “It’s not the parents, it’s not the spouses, it’s the kids that sacrifice so much. Telling them has always been the hardest part.” However, every family is different, facing different challenges with the deployment of a loved one. For Brenda Castellanos -- whose husband, Senior Airman Giovanni Castellanos, is deploying for the first time -- the hardest part will be his absence and missing out on the growth of their young daughter. “I have to be the strong one so he is able to stay focused on his job and provide support for his fellow airmen,” said Mrs. Castellanos. “We are going to be supportive as we can.” That support system at home is a vital part of any deployment. “It’s very important,” said Master Sgt. Chad Vaughn, 82nd SFS superintendent of operations. “You have to have that support system -- to know the reason you are there. A big reason for doing what we do overseas is to protect the people we love at home.” But as families support their deployed loved ones, they sometimes need support themselves. Whatever the challenges these families face, they always have the support of Kim Nottingham, the 82nd SFS key spouse, to lean on. She is the person the spouses and families turn to for support as they deal with the reality of living life with loved ones overseas. “Working together and being there for one another is what being a family is all about,” Nottingham said. For Andrea Fagnani, whose husband, Airman First Class Fagnani, is deploying for the first time, Nottingham is an important part of adapting with the separation. “I know I can call at any time of the day and Kim will answer,” said Fagnani, who has no children or family in Texas, and is having to adjust to being alone and doing everything herself. The relationship that drives that trust was built long before the deployment. Nottingham helped Fagnani find a job soon after arriving at Sheppard, the family’s first duty station, and recruited her to help with the squadron bake sale and holiday party. “We are cultivating a community of support through relationships”, Mrs. Nottingham said. And that includes families of all types. Nottingham said many of the airmen deploying are single and some have boyfriends or girlfriends. But regardless of the family type, Nottingham will be in touch with the loved ones of those deployed to make sure they are doing well. "My concern is the welfare of families during their transitions here at Sheppard,” Nottingham said. “The command’s goal is to develop a clear line of communication with the spouse so there can be a proactive response to their needs and produce a positive influence within the unit and their families. When the airmen know that the command is helping them succeed at home they can focus clearly on the mission; this is a wingman concept with the command key spouse and their families." Getting to that point, though, took hard work. "In the beginning I first encountered the negative perception of the Key Spouse role that revealed the void between the command and the families,” Nottingham said. “I knew then that transparency would be the bridge between the commands concerns and the families distrust. It took time to develop trust but with patience, sincerity and hope this bridge is now a reality and we are stronger." By providing open lines of communication through outlets such as Facebook and email, Nottingham has been able to pull the spouses in to the flow of communication. However, the face-to-face interactions are where the spouses are able to see how important they are. “They see that when time is given to hold a hand, lend an ear or just being available for a question, the gap between the command and the family’s needs shrinks,” Nottingham said. Nottingham said she knew she was getting somewhere when the usually-empty chair that sits next to her desk as the squadron’s Unit Program Coordinator suddenly seemed constantly occupied. “I said something to my husband — who serves as the Dental Squadron’s Key Spouse – about it after work one night, and he said, ‘That’s great! That means people trust you. They’re confiding in you,’” Nottingham said. “That’s when I really felt like I was starting to make a difference.” But her hard work and dedication didn’t go unnoticed. Nottingham’s squadron commander, Maj. Lawrence Wyatt, saw the difference that she was making. “A unit should be a home,” Wyatt said. “It should be a place where Airmen and family members enjoy coming to and feel secure in. It should a place that even our kids remember happily. Kim has helped set this tone, culture and climate. I love seeing spouses and kids in the unit, seeing them laugh, make jokes and crowd around the newest baby defender. Our spouses and kids feel good about coming the unit, so something’s right. This didn’t just happen. It was nurtured by Kim and her team. So today the spouses of our deployed members are familiar with the unit and know they have a huge extended family home right here on Sheppard.” "The key to the success of the program is my commander,” Nottingham said. “He is the key to the program. By making himself available to our feedback, his proactive approach to supporting our role and his situational awareness of the airman has brought a sense of family that most active duty members have never experienced before.” Wyatt has also provided Nottingham an office to give privacy and confidentiality for the spouses and airmen when voicing concerns. This show the command members the sense of respect and appreciation that Wyatt has for the security forces families, Nottingham said. “You don’t mind doing the work when you have your commander’s support,” Nottingham said. In the two years Nottingham has served as her unit’s Key Spouse, she’s helped military families through all kinds of situations, from needing food, to enrolling in assistance programs, to helping them cope with deaths in the family. “It’s all about serving,” Nottingham said. “It’s an honor to serve as a Key Spouse and have the chance to reach out and touch lives. If I can make a difference for one family then it’s all worth it.” Although it may take a village to deploy and support service members and their families, the village of the 82nd Security Forces Squadron is in the caring hands of a dedicated key spouse – Kimberly Nottingham. For more information about the Key Spouse program, contact the Airman and Family Readiness Center at 940-676-4358.